Me: *before I take my first bite*
Mom: is it good?
*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first
i found my new favorite twitter
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”
“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.